The Ground Rules
No screens in use during the groups time.
2. Confidentiality. What is said in The Wolfpack check-In stays in The Wolfpack check-In. We take this group of trust very seriously.
3. Respect. Yourself, others, everyone’s truth, feelings, perspectives, boundaries, and stories beyond projection and judgement.
4. Take part. Authentically take part in the group through words or silence. Better to say ‘pass’ than to resort to banter or any other smokescreen to hide behind a mask of what you're truly feeling, thinking or been triggered by. This is a practice of authenticity and connection.
5. Be honest with yourself and the group. Own yourself, your feelings, thoughts, work through them instead of suppressing or burying them. When we do that we end up dumping them on someone else in a toxic fashion.
6. Own what you say. Use ‘I’ statements. Not ‘We’, ‘Us’, ‘One’. What you say may not be true for another man. Depersonalising avoids ownership of feelings, experiences, opinions, and issues, making change an uphill battle. The word “we” seeks validation and acceptance of other men. “My” puts your truth before your need to fit in.
7. Stay true to the present. What is true now, what is true of the past. ‘Always’ and ‘Keeps on’ limits opportunities to past outcomes. ‘Sometimes’ and ‘used to’ create an emotional space for change.
8. Do not bully. This is a safe, inclusive space. Aggressive or passive-aggressive is not an option here. No man’s safety will be compromised in this space. Men can learn how to ask better questions when they disagree or feel triggered by someone. Be aware of when you feel these come up or when you feel vulnerable.
9. Don’t create drama. When a man speaks, give him space to tell his story without commenting how good, bad, beautiful, or ugly it is. Hijacking or creating drama of another man’s story may limit him. Let him name it, witness it, and then let it go.
10. Play with who you are. If you’ve survived life by clowning about, appearing aggressive or passive, this is a space where you can experiment with hidden parts of yourself and feel what fits. Test-drive the more authentic you and take him out into the world, beyond old playground or professional personalities.
11. Live beyond the rules. Playing small to be ‘safe’ or ‘liked’ may keep you small and stuck. Exploring the edge of your comfort zone may bring challenges and help you grow. Live beyond your fears, fantasies, and old restrictions to express a more authentic you in daily life.
12. Talk to everyone about The Wolfpack. Don’t disclose what is shared, but tell all how incredible it is to come together as men, with honour, integrity, connection and joy.
*This is not a therapy group, nor an encounter group, not a w*nk group, or a place to pick up men for sex or to sell them something. It is not a group for or against men or women, not a religious group, not a political group, not a group of anything apart from whatever the men present to make it. Such boundaries are designed to keep our circle clean and free of expectation and ulterior motives.